i hold my mind

he still using janjanxtra to keep in touch with other girl :( why can he again and again cheat me without feel bad.

i feel very upsad for almost 2 weeks..i never let him know about my feeling being cheated and cheated again..i only know i need a break and i wan to run away from his life...

buy me ring for empty promise...

buy house still thinking of other girl..really sad.

totally lost confident

after 3days of cold war..this was the 1st time i feel tired to talk to him, and manage to ignore him for 3days and night. because i just reliaze i no longer trust him, and i hate empty promises. so i choose to be silent.

i will plan my own path after the trip to his hometown by mid of may.
i changed i notice myself..calm to face it.
i no longer a happy person like last time. i hide a lot of my feeling and story.

attitude cause the problem

together for 11years

never bear anything for me

never request for any fancy and branded thing

never ask allowence like other girl do

what makes me stay on is i love him.

what makes me leave is because his bad attitude.

i cannot take it anymore... he never appreciate me at all. maybe out there too easy to get pretty girl that he like. i just a goods for him. he won't give up others.

silly me. again get hurt.

i shall feel upsad

gil told infront both of us...if i go thailand i will feel very upsad and "zi pei" because all the thai girl very slim ooo :(meaning i very fat.

maybe that the reason he not sincere to me.

i not his perfect gf. fat.

i will leave malaysia in this month.

i plan to leave malaysia around end of may, to oversea, to a place no one know me and start my new life without him.

i won't let anyone know where i going for at least 1month. after i plan properly my future path.

thanks for everyone who always care and love me. and good bye to him.

he will happy without me because no need play hide and seek for wooing other girls, get a brand new pretty young girl friend.

i need to be independant! good luck myself.

client

yesterday had meeting with a client, during the meeting, his face so unhappy because client not satisfied with his work. but from my point of view, client have right to critic.

today i meeting with him about the dateline of the project, but he told me he don't know when is the dateline... and he just walk away with rude face.

enough is enough.tired.

leave it or take it

cold like ice

because i reliaze that he will never keep his promise that he promise me year august 2006.

and i wake up finally, he will never change. he still like to hurt me in wooing other girls.

time to leave it or take it.

my answer is * **** ****** **.

3rd party

"a relationship that got 3rd party is bcuz the relationship is ALREADY got problem, then only will have 3rd party"meaning our relationship got problem before ws existed.

maybe is right time we face this problem.

i feel tired.

Tired . Scared . Want

Tired the way we quarrel, cold like ice, turn his back to me.
Tired the way he driving, the way he hons, the speed.
Tired the way he never appreciare what he have love, care, friend, client, car, camera.. so on. Lost count.
Tired fine out again he lie to me.
Tired been betray again and again.
Tired of empty promise and waiting..”I only wish a simple wedding and simple house, but he is the one who want the granted wedding dinner, expensive house. Like to show off to friend.”

Scared
Scared the way we quarrel, the punch the kick he did to me. The pain always planted in my heart.
Scared to see he lie again to me.
scare he again tell me, he love her, and don’t know how to choose either me or her.

Want
I want to be like last time, when quarrel he will pamper me like baby.
I want the truth of him, real him.
I want he treat me the same way how I treat him.. I never let him down. Treasure and sincere.
I want to have a car.
I just want a kancil or kelisa..but he said will get me suzuki swift end of year 2007.