VOILENT...

Out of sudden. I need someone to talk, to be my listener.Life is dull, full of anger and sadness. Same question keep on repeat in my mind, will he beat me and hurt me again and again? I very scare of him after a few quarrel with him. He trying to kill me. How? But I really love him. I scare if I marry with him, my life will be worst then now. I very confuse. In these 10 years, he been hurt by him so many times, countless of quarrel, countless of tears.

I feel we are not stable yet. I hope I have more time to reconsider our relationship, I wish I am 20. I giving all my youth. What I get is the by day, he treat me more rude and hurt me badly. ***SCREAM***I hope I can crying out loud. But I need to learn to hold my tears. Because he feel happy went I cry. He hardly give me big hug while I am sad or down or sick.

I really unhappy. No respect. No appreciation.