let me down again

he use to start comparing me with her. I look mature then him, bigger size then him. He feel I no longer compatible with him. But after the ws incident, he start to realize that I am stand an important role in his life. Everyone make mistake. He told me he just fool around not meant to hurt me so deep. And promise won't happen again. As I take a few month to recover and back to normal, no more shed my tear night and day bcus of him.We in love with each other again. I will trying my best to make myself look more compatible with him. I wish he will appreciate it and dun again hurt me.Lately I start to lose self confident. I feel I not compatible with him, he look young, talented, big car, cool office. He deserve a better, younger and prettier gf. I start to think, am I just a burden for him to carry along because of we been together for 10 years. I love him more than myself, everyone know. How I care and love him.But he always make me feel he hidden a lot of thing from me. He is expert in computer thing. Beyond my control to learn about his real face.I just wish my decision dun let me down again.. I may choose to commit sucide to end of painful lesson again.My love pls appreciate, and I will always love you..forver n ever.